This special soul that passed was Pappa, my Swedish dad. He was the host father when I was an exchange student 30 years ago in Sweden. He and Mamma, his wife, were always kind to me. They welcomed me into their home and loved me as if I was their own. I always felt my time with them helped mold me and give me the strength I have leaned on many times in the tough days of my life. It was an honor to call them Mamma and Pappa even 30 years after the short time I lived with them.
I felt it was my duty to be there. After all, I have my own business and can be flexible. I am at a point in my life where I have a loving partner and the income to do the things that matter to me in life. Except something kept tugging me about going. My Sister-in-law messaged back and forth with me the arrangements, how I would be included and that we were welcome to stay with them. Except something kept tugging on me about going.
I couldn’t distinguish why I felt a push and pull about going. Why I didn’t feel a hell yes about going or a hell no about going. Was I running away from the pain or leaning into the community and connection of mourning with my family. I just couldn’t feel what felt right to me.
I told both Mamma and Katja (my SIL) I would be there. But still I felt something tugging on me.
I picked up a book called Love yourself, Live your spirit by Sonia Choquette and she outlined a breath practice as a way to connect with your spirit. At this moment I so needed to understand why I felt this push and pull and couldn’t make up my mind. It was a simple slow breath practice. One that I’ve done daily unknowingly for months.
Through the in-between spaces of the breath my spirit and heart began to speak. I listened to why I didn’t want to go and what my spirit needed.
After a few more breaths, I had my answer and knew what was best for me through this. I walked into where Matthew was reading and explained to him what I had just experienced. He, of course, supported me in my decision to stay home.
I messaged Mamma that I thought it was best I wait until summer to visit. She was good with that, maybe even happy to know she had something in the future to look forward to.
This is where throat chakra comes into play. Often we think that having a clear and open throat chakra is about speaking your mind, speaking up and being heard… but what if (at least to me in the learning I’m experiencing) what if a clear throat chakra is about listening to your spirit and expressing what your spirit needs, what your authentic self desires?
The throat chakra element is air and represented by the color blue. The throat chakra is connected also to our ears, to being able to listen.
The throat chakra is the energy center between your heart chakra, your inner desire and your third eye chakra, the center of your inner wisdom.
So today for me in activating and clearing my throat chakra I connected with my inner desire and my inner wisdom and spoke what my soul needed.
Yes, a clear throat chakra makes it easier to speak in front of others (large audiences, your co-workers and even your loved ones). An unblocked throat chakra allows you to speak up and ask for what you need. An open throat chakra also involves listening to others’ voices. All of these aspects of the throat chakra are important.
For me today an active throat chakra was a connection to my heart chakra and my third eye.
Doing chakra work, energy work and any time we devote time and energy to self it is the opportunity to see and feel what truly resonates for you. To connect with your spirit, your authentic self and follow the guidance you find within.
I encourage you as you read my blogs, listen to the Grounding Journey podcast, read books and dig deeper into your own spirituality that you remember it is YOUR journey. Take what you like and leave the rest.